After Loss, I Turned to a Medium. It Changed How I Carry Grief.
A personal story of unexpected emotional and spiritual healing.
Young Heather with her grandfather in his rocking chair.
By Heather Thompson
When we think about health, we tend to think about physical or mental well-being. But what about emotional and spiritual health? I’ve become focused on these aspects of health due to inexplicable experiences with my loved ones who have passed.
I’ve had moments where I knew to my core my loved ones were connecting with me. So, I decided to try working with a medium, which is a person who acts as a messenger between the living and the deceased. Now, I’ve met with two different mediums, and it has changed how I view the world and brought me so much peace that I feel compelled to share with anyone who will listen.
An Unexpected Message
When I reached out to Suzanne Holloway Catalano, I did not expect her to have a message for me while chatting about a time to meet, but as she will tell you, spirit is pushy.
“You say you have two kids? Why … why do I see three for you?” she asked. “I see girl-boy-girl.”
My heart stopped.
“I have two girls,” I explained. “I had a miscarriage in between them.”
“He says it just wasn’t his time. He’s calling you mommy. He is okay.”
My miscarriage was five years ago. I grieved it. I honor it. My husband and I nicknamed the baby “Jellybean” as soon as we found out I was pregnant. After the loss, I got a Christmas ornament filled with fake jellybeans. I thought I was mostly past it. Now, I realize I grieved the pregnancy, but not the baby.
A loss at nine weeks means I knew nothing about that baby and had barely enough time to wrap my head around becoming a mom of two. Suzanne told me that my baby is a boy, he has bright blonde hair (like my oldest) with highlights of red (like my youngest). She said that he sees his sisters, and he is with our family. Hearing this both opened an old wound and brought closure I didn’t know I needed. I couldn’t wait to meet with her and find out what else I might hear.
How Mediums Communicate
Meeting with Suzanne was a different experience than my first medium reading, where I was told, “Only say yes or no to information. I don’t want details; you can explain at the end of the session if you wish.” This was intended to make me feel confident that any information was authentic and not inferred from my comments. During that reading, the medium shared information from my great uncle, my step-grandmother, and a few others. The information was specific, personal, and could not have been guessed.
Suzanne’s approach was different. She explained to me how she receives information, how she feels it in her body. Her messages for me were also very authentic, and I felt totally confident that she was really connecting with my loved ones and not just making lucky guesses.
A similarity in both my readings was that I have a lot of loved ones around me that make discerning the messages difficult, which is apparently uncommon.
Young Heather and her grandfather on their way to get donuts.
My Reading From Suzanne
Since I am surrounded by so many spirits, Suzanne asked me if there was someone I was hoping to hear from, and she would try to “find” them among the many energies. She told me I could ask questions of them if I liked. I said, “I just want my grandpa to know that I’m sorry.” She paused.
“You feel bad about something surrounding his passing,” she said.
“Yes,” I answered.
“You didn’t think he would pass when he did.”
“No.”
“He didn’t either. Did you not go see him?”
“No.”
“He didn’t want you to. He wouldn’t have wanted that to be your last memory of him.”
And that is exactly what I needed to hear. My grandfather was one of the most important people in my life. We shared a birthday. He was in the room and the first to hold me when I was born. I didn’t go to the hospital to say goodbye when he had a sudden stroke. I didn’t want my last memory of him to be that. But ever since, I felt I abandoned him at the end after he had always been there for me, that I had been selfish. Now, I have a sense of peace that it is OK, he didn’t want that for me either.
Suzanne knew he had been gone for 10 years. She knew about his rocking chair by the window overlooking the lake, how I’d sit with him for hours in that chair, and he would take me to get donuts on Sundays from the little shop where the owners were his friends. These were details that she couldn’t have guessed, and as she shared them, I felt like I was talking and reminiscing with him. The peace and healing that I feel after that conversation are invaluable to me.
Later in the reading, Suzanne asked me about dimes and blue butterflies. My mother-in-law is always finding dimes and associates blue butterflies with her husband. “Please tell her that's him letting her know he’s there,” she said.
Suzanne told me that little reminders like this are not a coincidence: a song, a smell, or a sudden moment that captures your attention can be your loved ones reaching out to you. For me, these experiences changed what I believe and how I carry loss.
I Found Spiritual and Emotional Comfort
Suzanne believes that our loved ones are never really gone.
“People think death is final. They may not physically be here with us, but they are always walking with us,” she said.
Whether you believe in this completely or feel skeptical, the idea itself is powerful: that our loved ones may still be with us in ways we don’t fully understand. It’s natural to question what we can’t fully explain, but even allowing for the possibility that these signs could be real can bring comfort and peace.
Emotional and spiritual health go beyond what we can measure or prove. It’s about how we heal. It’s being able to release guilt, find closure, and feel connected to the people we love, even after they’re gone. There is no right or wrong way to do that. Whether it’s meeting with a medium or another method, you have to find what feels right for you.
A Medium’s Advice
If you’re considering meeting with a medium, Suzanne has advice for getting the best possible experience. Here’s what she recommends.
Look up reviews and see what people are saying. Try to talk with people who have visited the medium you are considering.
Watch out for leading questions. These tend to be broad enough that most people can relate, but still feel personal. For example: “There’s a memory tied to a particular place, does that resonate with you?”
Don’t overshare. Even if your reading is authentic, oversharing can cast a shadow of doubt on your experience.
Be mindful of how frequently you schedule sessions with a medium. Meeting too often can lead to repeated information and getting “stuck” in the past, especially when dealing with a recent loss.
If you feel like your loved ones are connecting with you, trust it. Believe in yourself, believe that they are there, and listen.
DISCLAIMER
The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the magazine. This content is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice.